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Literature Text
SHAKESPEARE’S TOUHOU
or
THE COMEDY OF THE SCARLET DEVIL
Inspired by the work of William Shakespeare, Ian Doescher and Team Shanghai Alice.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
CHORUS
REIMU HAKUREI, a shrine maiden
MARISA KIRISAME, an ordinary magician
RUMIA, of the dusk
DAIYOUSEI, a greater fairy
CIRNO, an ice fairy
HONG MEILING, a gate guard
PATCHOULI KNOWLEDGE, a librarian
KOAKUMA, her assistant
SAKUYA IZAYOI, a maid
REMILIA SCARLET, of the Scarlet Devil Mansion
FLANDRE SCARLET, her younger sister
PROLOGUE.
Outside the Hakurei shrine.
Enter chorus.
CHORUS Though oft the fragile peace was safely kept
O’er Gensokyo, a land of Eastern myth,
Alas! Anon, a crimson fog is swept
Upon our scene to chaos make forthwith.
Now noble Reimu to the lake doth go
To make clear whence the scarlet mist hath come.
For summer now made wint’ry by this woe
She claimeth warrants least a bite of thumb.
Still yet we find she leaveth not alone,
For Marisa the mage follows to see
The lake as well, and on its isle unknown
Make satisfy’d her curiosity.
Belike here now our play begins it seems,
Betwixt our follies found of crimson dreams.
[Exit.]
ACT I
SCENE 1.
In the forest near the lake.
Enter REIMU HAKUREI.
REIMU This hour of late a tranquil feeling brings
That in this moment nothing could surpass!
Though yet the task my duty sets still looms,
No man could marvel not this breezy night!
But fie! So quick my reverie is lost
Inside this damnèd mist that plagues us so.
So where from might the wicked knave observe?
What amphithe’ter vantage point sits she
Who presently destroys our sacred peace?
The darken’d spirits whom I know quite well,
That I suspect are players of this plot,
Do shun the light, hence presently emerge.
Yet with this night I find with mortal eyes
No diff’rent scene had I departed noon!
Enter RUMIA, across the stage.
REIMU O night! Prithee, wherefore mock'st thou me so,
Makest fools of sons who bloom with sunlight’s aid?
Had not this current fate be struck upon us now,
Thou, night, would next my adversary be.
Still though, I find without the sense called sight,
The orphan, sibling senses do bloom strong.
So not the night, but night within I feel
A sense of romance dancing in the dark!
RUMIA Here, here! Thy speech was sound and pleasing. Yes,
For one conceived by tongue of human flesh.
I too make love of rev’ling at the set,
And ghosts do too a wondrous night create!
REIMU O, by the gods, what now? Make clear thyself!
RUMIA ‘Tis Rumia I’m called, and what of thee?
REIMU [Aside:] A girl she seems, but actu’ly a beast.
A treat with her will treat her to a feast!
[To RUMIA:] Now, Reimu Hakurei doth here stand by,
But constable’s the role I’ll play with thee.
RUMIA Whence did the coldness come within thy speech?
[Aside:] I’ll say, tonight a chill’d dessert is made!
What spirit hath thy memory consum’d?
‘Tis but moments ago we met anon.
REIMU Hast thou been dim to blindness of mankind?
The dark in which we present find ourselves,
My kind is suited to as moths to flames!
Now go upon thy merry way, for I
Have naught a sec for flesh-consuming sods.
Though beast’s the part thou play’st and thus
The gods have not a warrant for arrest,
Should rabid nature spur thee towards my path,
I’ll make no pause to strike thee down.
RUMIA --Forsooth!
Thy reas’ning molds a two-edg’d blade that such
Thou dost strike me and also strike thyself.
A blunder thou hast made to lend this part to me,
To tell the actress not to act? Nonsense!
No doubt thou find’st a fool that stands aloof
Before thee and beneath. But truly now
If rampant fool’s the role bestow’d by fate,
Then verily I’ll play this part my best!
Let not thy soul be troubl’d by these teeth,
Bite not thy thumb at me, instead let me
Bite hand and fingers all to whet the tongue!
REIMU What brand of fool thou seek’st to play tonight
That spews one truth, then lapses to a child
Who rationale and common sense lackest,
And takest not a friend for food, instead
Thou takest them as food, but not for thought!
RUMIA Is that which now thou speakest so?
REIMU --Of course!
What silliness it is that I should find tonight
A wench controlling black’ning darkness, yet
Possess a darker void left empty in her skull.
RUMIA Methinks thou dost protest too much compar’d
To appetizers. Now, thyself prepare!
REIMU Perchance thou canst recall a local phrase,
That bitter taste doth sign good medicine?
[They fight. RUMIA is defeated.]
REIMU Of course, thou wouldst not know good medicine,
Since bitter flavor ties thy tongue within!
[Exeunt.]
A Touhou Haiku
Patchouli wants DEATH BATTLE out of the library
Source material here. Note, it doesn't make for a very interesting read by itself.
May continue, may not. Is Shakespeare still popular nowadays? I'm not sure myself. If anyone notices a major grammar error or similar, please let me know!